(1)New arrivals- Wasn't Dhanya misunderstood?

When I first entered XIth class, I felt as if I was in the midst of strangers. I'd taken Biology because my chechi had taken Biology and I usually followed her footsteps, God only knows why. When I'd realized Aparna was taking Computer, I was stunned and wanted to give up Biology too, but I'd one big dream- to join AFMC. I remember the conversations I'd had with her, in which I'd passionately rejected any wish to be a doctor and telling her that I have taken Biology only because I wanted to join the army. But in two years, your aspirations change, but even now I'm not very happy about writing out prescriptions to patients because I've always trusted Ayurveda and therefore doesn't like to be a consultant physician. Now I wish to be a surgeon, but I don't know what I'll feel like after 5 years.


In our Bio class there were total 28 students. We'd checked the roll list of new admissions, beforehand and were quite excited to meet the new-comers. Soumya had spoken about a Roshini Nair, a very beautiful girl from Shanthinikethan, she said. The name Rarimol also caught my attention, because Rari was my chechi's pet name. Regarding boys we were all waiting to see if any handsome guy showed up. I still remember the excitement among girls when we first saw Jasim, and Ragi coming back later, after a closer look, disappointed, saying he had a 'maruku' near his chin, and was not worth all the attention after all.

Roshini surprised us all because she wore a 'thattom' though her name was 'Nair'. We wondered if her parents could be inter-cast couple. But later I plucked up the courage to ask her and she told me that she'd shaved her hair as a 'nercha' for her grandmother's good health, but somehow I never believed it. Roshini was very jolly.

Rari immediately got attention as the prettiest new-comer, but as usual we jealous girls were reluctant to accept it. I remember Neethu's comment: 'Nalla mudiyundu, niramundu. Athra thanne.'

Silpa, I felt was pretty too but Greeshma thought Minu looked pretty. Apart from that, I dunno, we tried to speak with them.

Regarding the Bhavan's girls, I knew Ann Maria very well, she having been our official best friend during Xth too. Gayathri, I don't remember at all, except that she'd written in my slam-book that black was her favorite color. Archa I remembered well. Felicia, Dowlin were all complete strangers. Nicey I knew as Varada's friend, I think, though we used to be in the same class. We old girls were pulled together due to necessity than anything else, we were strangers to each other as much as the new girls, but we struck up an acquaintance incredibly fast. In fact, I don't even remember my introduction to Felicia, though it was concerned with something like she saying me and Aparna had gone to meet her when she came in 9th or so and asked her the French for dog. Dowlin, I believe was comfortable with Ann around and we overtook the 5 years' gap very first. Gayathri, I'd always considered to be one among Varsha-Alka-Chandini-Sneha gang, only less familiar than them, but she turned out to be incredibly funny. Archa was always to me a good girl and I was often surprised that she didn't have any great friends among girls in Xth though she and Lakshmi used to walk together. Nicey, I don't know, I suppose we knew each other fairly well, so there wasn't anything new to remark about her in XIth. Greeshma, my best friend, was still near me, so we didn't feel much of the insecurity that Aparna might have faced in the Computer class.

From my class X boys, only Antony, Arunnath, Deepak remained. Anu was kind of distant to me, though I'd invited him for my house-warming the previous year. P Menon was absolutely new, my only knowledge about him was that his sister Anju studied with Feby.


In the completely disarranged Maths lab, the old Bhavanite girls were sitting at the window side and the new girls near the door, opposite to each other. Ann was sitting near me and we immediately made it our business to speak to the new boys; Rohit was the one we attacked first, poor thing!


Among the new girls there was a girl with curly hair, wearing jeans, who'd said her name was Dhanya, but the name hadn't rung any bell during the introduction. It was only long after the attendance rolls, that somebody mentioned to me that Dhanya was the same old Dhanya, my best friend in 1st and 2nd. Surprised, I turned around; she was sitting directly opposite me, but of course, we were at two far sides of the room. But I asked her, or rather mimed at her, was she the Dhanya who used to study here before? And she replied, yes, and said she knew I was Christabella. Was I shocked!! Never in my life had I expected to meet her again, and there she was, back again as my classmate. But there was nothing of the old Dhanya in her; she was much, much too modern. And that caused quite a stir among the girls and boys.


Girls were all totally against her from the begining. They couldn't just accept the fact that a girl could decide her priorities herself, that she could choose to ignore, or attract or be a 'dhikkari' towards boys. Somebody commented about her later towards the end of 12th: 'Vannappo avalu nalla over aayirunnu. Ippo kozhappilla. Aadhyam full, Dhanya inganeyaanu, Dhanya anganeyaanu, Dhanya boysinodu samsaarikilla, avaru vannu Dhanyayodu samsaarikkum....' Some of the girls were determined from the beginning to mark her off as too much Western-cultured.

What I can't understand is why can't she talk about herself? If she wished to think boys would be attracted to her, who are we to say she is boasting? How can we say that? We haven't lived with her for past year; if she want to think like that, it's her life, she'll do it. Nobody asked her classmates to correct her.

Saraswathi miss made us sit according to roll-number; and like in our lower primary, me and Dhanya ended up as bench-mates. That helped me cultivate a deeper relationship with her. From all our conversations, I've learned certain things about her essential character. What she used to say, can be, called as 'exaggerating', if you want, but if I let her speak about herself for a while and accepted everything she said, then she herself came out of the behavior after some time. She learned to talk less and less about 'Dhanya.' I thought, maybe it was not over-confidence, but lack-of-confidence that used to drive her before. Or maybe, I thought, she'd felt just a bit overshadowed by her more beautiful sister. But these are, of course, solely my opinion, and Dhanya you are welcome to contradict it.

I quite enjoyed my conversations with her. It was not sympathy what drove me to be her friend or anything; I really wanted to be her friend; it wasn't as if I didn't have any choice since she was sitting with me. No, I became friends with her because I liked her. You think I kind of 'tolerated' her or something. No, I laughed with her, talked with her, walked with her and stood by her, all for my own selfish reasons; for my pleasure, not hers, because I enjoyed her company. She spoke to me of a whole new world, where girls and boys were real friends, were some of the boys could even become caring like brothers. That was the part of Dhanya you guys missed, because you were all prejudiced from the beginning. Sometimes she used to talk about boys who might have been boyfriends. I never challenged her right to speak about herself. If I didn't have any other pressing matters, I always listened to her,and believed what she said to be true. Letting people talk about themselves is a crucial part of developing a relationship. It's what a good doctor always does to gain a patient's trust. It's what an investigator does to let the suspect confess the crime, accidentally. It's also what friends do, to show that they care for each other. Everyone wish to speak about themselves. I do too, but I don't get listeners; everybody wants to know what I think about them(Remember my observation classes in Bio lab?); nobody wants to know what I think about myself. But I don't complain. If you don't want to listen, don't listen. But don't listen and then afterward crucify a person regarding what she said about herself.

What did Dhanya tell me? She talked to me about her school in gulf; her classmates, how the boys there were different from the boys here. She talked as if to assure me and, in turn, herself, that she was a very popular girl there and that she could be one here too, if she wanted. But she was fighting a losing game, because boys here don't let girls become popular in class, unless they learn to accept the superiority of boys. If you want to live, please the boys first. You can't hope to be anything if they forsake you. Win them first, and then if they wish so, you can make room for yourself in the school. Or if they didn't want it, you can end up as their follower. Here the boys ruled; to let any girl, and that too a not-so-beautiful girl, mention that girls can control boys would undermine the whole hierarchy they'd fondled for years; it was a matter of survival of the fittest.

What I can't still accept is the fact that all the girls supported them. We have been suppressed for so long, we've learned to accept it and even, enjoy it. Any girl who spoke against it, is a 'pezhachaval'.


Dhanya made Greeshma feel insecure. I don't know why, but she felt that Dhanya might 'nuzhanjukayaral' in between ourselves with her claim of being my ex-bestfriend. But I suspect that what Greeshma had really wanted was to assure me that she wants to be my friend through and through and thus give me a morale booster; thanks, Greeshma.


Even now, the Kalapila often complaints that Dhanya is possessive about me. That's not her fault; if anybody's it's your fault. You were the ones who criticized her always, when I decided to be her friend. Nobody is perfect; if you are going to isolate a girl because of her shortcomings, you'll soon find yourself in that position too, sometime in your life.